GRADUATION DAY SPEECH

The following will be an imaginary speech for the college students on their Graduation Day.

Good Evening boys and girls!! It’s a great honor for me to address the energetic, ever naughty, mischievous, trend setting and a fashion crazy set of wonderful students. I thank the management for giving me the opportunity and at the same time really pity them for the grave mistake they have done by asking me to address you.

The reason I called you all Trend Setters is because of our people’s taste. They will blindly follow the college students. I remember when I was a student one day when we were working in the chemistry lab; some chemical fell on my friend’s jeans. When we tried to help him by cleaning it with some cloth, the color of the jeans near the thighs also sincerely came off along with the chemical. Then everybody started following that and it’s now called Faded Jeans. My other friend when he was going alone in the street, a couple of mad dogs chased him, bit him all over and his jeans was torn near the knees and now it’s a fashion. Nowadays people are ready to pay more for faded and torn jeans than for the normal ones.

The other common qualities of you all are that you don’t eat well. It holds good mostly for girls because they don’t eat well to maintain their figures. When I look at the girls out here, I have to keep telling myself that I am in a college not in an elementary school. You are all so skinny that you can even dodge raindrops. Please start eating well. When we were in college, our college girls didn’t pay so much attention to their figures and they ate reasonably well. One of the girls was so fat that when she fell in love, it broke.

Please start sleeping well as well. I know a college student who didn’t sleep one night as he had gone for a party. The next day he went to college in a drowsy state and went to Physics class instead of Economics. The professor was teaching about Atomic Fusion and Nuclear Fusion and this guy was left with only one fusion – Confusion.

I know the economic conditions are bad now for getting a job. Finding a job nowadays is like finding Tropicana in Tropic of Cancer. But I am sure you guys are capable of finding a wonderful job for yourselves. Please be confidant and you would definitely grow up in life. I once again thank the management and the teachers for giving me the opportunity to address all of you. You have been a wonderful audience. Eat well, Sleep well and LAUGH well. Thank you.