Thursday, January 29, 2009

Bangalore Traffic

Bangalore experienced a steep 100 % increase in 2007 from 2000 not in the number of IT companies started or in the number of saplings planted but in the number of casualties in road accidents. There are so many reasons for this like the increase in population in a relatively smaller city, purchasing power of the citizens (every fourth person owns a car), drunken driving, careless and haphazard driving. You cannot tell anyone that you will reach your destination on time due to the atrocious traffic the city is experiencing.

The two main culprits for these terrible traffic jams are the buses and autos. The buses during the peak time will overwhelmingly be full that the passengers inside cannot even move more than one part of their body at the same time. The driver also drives the bus as if he was born as an intoxicated snake in his previous birth. You cannot go behind a bus for a long time; it will take an unexpected turn towards any direction or would come to an anticipated halt in an unanticipated location. Even if you try to overtake the bus there are numerous chances of getting your shirt painted with red by someone in the bus spitting pan with the acutest of the aims. I think the concept of Red Bus started after this only.

Next comes the 3 wheeler devil which can neither be considered as a bike nor as a car. Please be prepared to expect the unexpected if you are traveling alongside an auto and you will “auto”matically go mad. It can run in any of the unimaginable conditions; bad roads, wet roads, no roads etc. I can bet my appendix that no one would have seen any auto standing far behind a red signal. They will do something or the other to go to the front; be it riding on the foot path or on the pedestrians’ foot itself. I was told that to be an auto driver you should have at least 5 years of experience in any well known Circus.

I know a person who used to get stuck in the traffic and wait on the road for hours who decided to spend time usefully by solving Sudoku puzzles and now he is the South Zone Champion. The footpath on the road in Bangalore is strictly meant for 2 wheelers; the pedestrians can go to hell. If you buy a new bike and happen to ride on a pavement on which they sell lemons, you can conduct the puja for your bike instantly by crushing a couple of them. One day I wanted to do some shopping and before that I had to get my bike’s brake repaired and started my journey from home. First I went to a mechanic who after inspecting my bike said that he cannot repair the brakes and hence will make my horn louder. Non sense fellow. I wanted to do some shopping in an Electronics showroom and it took me about 2 hours to reach that place. Thanks to this Bangalore traffic. By the time I reached that place I was so confused that instead of going to the Electronics Showroom I went to a temple because of the board I saw on the showroom – “NEXT”.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Stand Up Comedy

This is one of the first few steps of my ambition of being a stand up comedian.

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=QMqhW1EuIz0