A TRAGIC TRYST WITH THE LAUGHTER CLUB

I was talking to my friend on the phone and when he asked “Hey!! Do you like Koffee with Karan?” I paused for a while and replied “No!! I only like coffee with sugar.” He was irritated and felt very bad that he cannot hit me through the phone for that joke. I didn’t leave him but continued “Hey!! Yesterday I went to the video shop and asked if I can take BATMAN FOREVER?” for that he replied “No sir!! You have to return it tomorrow.” Being a nice guy he controlled his temper and advised me using a soft tone. “If you try to use these jokes on the stage once you become a Stand Up Comedian, audience will pelt you so much that YOU cannot even STAND UP. Actually you can look for some good comedy clubs in Bangalore and become a member. It will not only help you hone your humor but also help you get contacts for your first stand up comedy show.” For the first time I really felt some non - “non sense” in what he said.

The next day I changed from Praveen Kumar to Praveen Research Kumar. I tried all possible media and got some handful of phone numbers of what they called Laughter Clubs. I tried calling one by one and was really impressed with one of the contact’s caller tone which was a laughing sound of a baby. I was thinking of how symbolic that laughter club member was. One old lady picked up the call and started talking without even waiting for a HELLO from me. This is how the conversation went.

She: Hello!! My name is Sangeetha Baskar. I am one of the oldest members of Malleshwaram laughter club. Laughter is the best medicine. You see, I have never been to a doctor till now.

Me: Hello!! I am Praveen. I want to know if you have a branch in Koramangala.

She: Ok!! But you have to wait for couple of days to meet him as he is not in station.

Me: (Confused) actually madam I wanted to know if there is a branch of your laughter club in Koramangala.

She: Oh!! Tell that clearly. Try to talk properly like this. Yes.. Yes..Baskar is my husband’s name.

I hung up. After so many calls, I somehow managed to catch hold of someone who guided me properly to Jayanagar laughter club and asked me to join on Jan 1, 2009 as they were having a New year party at one of the member’s house.

Date: Jan 1, 2009

I along with Raji somehow managed to find that Gentleman's house. We could clearly make out that they have arranged for a grand New Year party. I was all excited to get in and the gentleman I spoke over the phone welcomed us in. But my excitement started slowing down like a train approaching a station once I entered. I went out again and looked for a board that says HOME FOR THE AGED. There were about 60 members and trust me none of them was younger than 60. The only thing which was common between them and me is my baldness. (But there was a guy who must certainly be over 75 with hairs touching his shoulders and sometimes my shoulders when he crossed me. I ignored him) May be that's why they welcomed me with open arms. They looked at us and treated us like we were new born babies in a caesarian section. But I should definitely appreciate their hospitality. First they served samosa and cutlet which was followed by fruit salad. The way they took care of us merely put the staff nurses of that caesarian section to shame. But one of them asked me “Is that your daughter who has come with you?”

I happened to talk to one of the elderly members rather one of the members about their daily routine at the laughter club. He said that they will assemble at a park at 6 30 in the morning. Oh My GOD… that is midnight for me. (I have seen SUNRISE only on the cover of a coffee powder). He continued "Then all of us will do yoga for 15 minutes and after that we will clap hands for 15 minutes". I was still waiting for the jokes and humor part of it. I asked "Then??" He said "We will go home!! If you want you can stay back in the park and do some walking." I asked "Don't you guys share jokes and perform some shows on stage??" His eyes became dull and said "Yeah!! We do… may be we will share a couple of jokes once a month" (Amazing frequency!!) This is not the kind of club I was looking for. I wanted to escape from that place as quickly as possible. But their kindness won over my thoughts of escapism. They locked the main gate from inside which made the less chance of us escaping still lesser. They forced us to have dinner and said there were games arranged for the evening and do you think we had any other option?

All 60 of us sat in a circle and started playing “PASSING THE PARCEL”. The object they used for passing was an apple. They were all so slow that by that time I got the apple, all of them were out and the apple was also rotten. They declared me to be the winner of the evening extravaganza. They announced that I would be getting the prize from one of the oldest Laughter Club members and her name was Sangeetha Baskar. One more shock for the day. I ran towards her and pulled the prize from her hand and ran back to my seat before she started talking. When I opened the prize I saw a WALKING STICK. It was getting three much and both of us grew restless. When we were on our mission of looking here and there for even a tiniest of places to escape, we noticed a small gate which was not locked. We fled from that place breaking all the records of 100m running. We reached our bike and was about to start. Just then my bike wouldn’t start and it was so adamant. Actually, my bike has got gas problem. The petrol tank cap has to be opened and closed for it to start. TVS claims that it is a six sigma company which means only 3 defected pieces among 1 million. I don’t know if I should be proud or sad to declare that my bike is one amongst the three.

Bangalore Traffic

Bangalore experienced a steep 100 % increase in 2007 from 2000 not in the number of IT companies started or in the number of saplings planted but in the number of casualties in road accidents. There are so many reasons for this like the increase in population in a relatively smaller city, purchasing power of the citizens (every fourth person owns a car), drunken driving, careless and haphazard driving. You cannot tell anyone that you will reach your destination on time due to the atrocious traffic the city is experiencing.

The two main culprits for these terrible traffic jams are the buses and autos. The buses during the peak time will overwhelmingly be full that the passengers inside cannot even move more than one part of their body at the same time. The driver also drives the bus as if he was born as an intoxicated snake in his previous birth. You cannot go behind a bus for a long time; it will take an unexpected turn towards any direction or would come to an anticipated halt in an unanticipated location. Even if you try to overtake the bus there are numerous chances of getting your shirt painted with red by someone in the bus spitting pan with the acutest of the aims. I think the concept of Red Bus started after this only.

Next comes the 3 wheeler devil which can neither be considered as a bike nor as a car. Please be prepared to expect the unexpected if you are traveling alongside an auto and you will “auto”matically go mad. It can run in any of the unimaginable conditions; bad roads, wet roads, no roads etc. I can bet my appendix that no one would have seen any auto standing far behind a red signal. They will do something or the other to go to the front; be it riding on the foot path or on the pedestrians’ foot itself. I was told that to be an auto driver you should have at least 5 years of experience in any well known Circus.

I know a person who used to get stuck in the traffic and wait on the road for hours who decided to spend time usefully by solving Sudoku puzzles and now he is the South Zone Champion. The footpath on the road in Bangalore is strictly meant for 2 wheelers; the pedestrians can go to hell. If you buy a new bike and happen to ride on a pavement on which they sell lemons, you can conduct the puja for your bike instantly by crushing a couple of them. One day I wanted to do some shopping and before that I had to get my bike’s brake repaired and started my journey from home. First I went to a mechanic who after inspecting my bike said that he cannot repair the brakes and hence will make my horn louder. Non sense fellow. I wanted to do some shopping in an Electronics showroom and it took me about 2 hours to reach that place. Thanks to this Bangalore traffic. By the time I reached that place I was so confused that instead of going to the Electronics Showroom I went to a temple because of the board I saw on the showroom – “NEXT”.

Stand Up Comedy

This is one of the first few steps of my ambition of being a stand up comedian.

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=QMqhW1EuIz0